One morning the husband returns after several
hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.
Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He
pulls up alongside the woman and
"Good morning, Ma'am. What are
Reading a book," she replies,
(thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,"
he informs her.
I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing.
Yes, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start at any
moment. I'll have to take you in and write
If you do that, I'll have to charge
you with sexual assault," says the
But I haven't even touched you,"
says the game warden.
That's true, but you have all the equipment.
For all I know you could start
at any moment."
Have a nice day ma'am," and he
MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads.
It's likely she can also think.
Picture Speak-Mens Life
Is it true? experienced folks,Please throw some light on this ;).
Monday, June 26, 2006
One morning the husband returns after several
Saturday, June 17, 2006
போன Ferengi's Rules of acquisition பதிவுல நீளமான லிஸ்ட்ட போட்டு வலையுலக நண்பர்களோட பொறுமைய சோதிச்சுட்டேன், அதனால அடுத்த பதிவு மென்மையான பதிவா போடலாம்னு யோசிச்சுட்டு இருந்தேன் (மென்மைனு சொன்னாவே எங்கம்மா சுடும் இட்லி தான் நியாபகத்துக்கு வருது ஹி...ஹி..).மென்மையான இந்தப் பதிவுக்கான ஜடியாவ இவுங்க கிட்ட இருந்துதான் சுட்டனுங்கோவ், அதாவது நம்ம மியூசிக் டைரக்டர் தேவா ஸ்டைல்லா சொல்றதுனா இன்ஸ்பிரேசன் ;).இந்த பதிவுல எங்க வீட்டயும், எங்க drive way யும் சுத்தி இருக்கற பூக்களை எல்லாம் படம் எடுத்து போட்ருக்கேன்.
(ரோஜா பூவ செடில இருந்து பறிக்க மனசு வரலீங் :)
(மாற்றான் தோட்டத்து எலுமிச்சை பழத்தில் செய்யும் எலுமிச்சை சாதத்திலும் சுவை இருக்கும் ஹி...ஹி)
(மொத்தம் 30 வகையான பூக்கள் உள்ளது.)
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
I came across this Ferengi's rules of acquistion recently.The word "Pure Profit" is something that interests you than anything else,then these rules can help you greatly.Rules that are in bold letters are the few rules that I have seen people using it in the past 1 year in the corporate world.
Who are Ferengi's?
Ferengi's are a spacefaring humanoid species native to the planet Ferenginar. Ferengi civilization was built on the ideals of free enterprise, where all other goals were subjugated to the pursuit of profit.
Ferengi's Rules of acquisition.
1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
3. You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.
4. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
5. Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough.
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
7. Keep your ears open.
8. Keep count of your change.
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10. A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one.
11. Latinum isn't the only thing that shines.
12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
14. Anything stolen is pure profit.
15. Acting stupid is often smart.
16. A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along.
17. A contract, is a contract, is a contract... but only between Ferengi.
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19. Beware of relatives bearing gifts.
20. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
22. Never place friendship above profit.
23. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
24. Never take the last coin, but be sure to get all the rest.
25. Never ask when you can take.
26. Fear makes a good business partner.
27. The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their wealth; they stole it.
28. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down.
29. Morality is always defined by those in power.
30. When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying.
31. Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money.
32. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother ... insult something he cares about instead.
33. Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects.
34. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
35. Compassion is no substitute for profit.
36. You could afford your ship without your government--if it weren't for your government.
37. Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore.
38. You can always buy back a lost reputation.
39. Free advertising is cheap.
40. Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers.
41. She can touch your lobes but never your Latinum.
42. Profit is its own reward.
43. Only negotiate when you are certain to profit.
44. Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
45. Never argue with a loaded phaser.
46. Profit has limits. Loss has none.
47. Labor camps are full of people who trusted the wrong person.
48. Don't trust a man wearing a suit better than your own.
49. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
50. Old age and wisdom will always overcome youth and talent.
51. Never bluff a Klingon.
52. Never admit a mistake if they're someone else to blame.
53. Only Bugsy could have built Las Vegas.
54. Sell first; ask questions later.
55. Never buy anything you can't sell.
56. Always sell at the highest possible profit.
57. Pursue profit; women come later.
58. Good customers are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.
59. Friendship is seldom cheap.
60. Free advice is seldom cheap.
61. Never use credit where your words will do.
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
63. Power without profit is like a ship without an engine.
64. Don't talk shop; talk shopping.
65. Don't talk ship; talk shipping.
66. Anyone serving in a fleet who is crazy can be relieved, if they ask for it.
67. Anyone asking to be relieved is not crazy and must be forced to serve.
68. War is good for business.
69. Peace is good for business.
70. Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise.
71. Greed is eternal.
72. Small print leads to large risk.
73. Money talks, but having lots of it gets more attention.
74. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of latinum.
76. Every once in a while, declare peace; it confuses the hell out of your enemy.
77. A bargain usually isn't.
78. There is no substitute for success.
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
80. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
81. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
82. Don't lie too soon after a promotion.
83. When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat.
84. A friend in need is a customer in the making.
85. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
86. Females and finances don't mix.
87. Enough ... is never enough.
88. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
89. Give someone a fish, you feed him for one day. Teach him how to fish, and you lose a steady customer.
90. Never do something you can make someone do for you.
91. Sleep can interfere with opportunity.
92. Money is never made. It is merely won or lost.
93. Faith moves mountains ... of inventory.
94. There is no honor in poverty.
95. A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.
96. Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.
97. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
98. Never sleep with the boss' wife unless you pay him first.
99. Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.
100. Never have sex with the boss's sister.
101. Always have sex with the boss.
102. Win or lose, there's always Hyperian beetle snuff.
103. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
104. You can't free a fish from water.
105. Keep your lies consistent.
106. Buy, sell, or get out of the way.
107. Everything is for sale, even friendship.
108. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
109. A friend is only a friend until you sell him something. Then he is a customer.
110. Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder.
111. Wives serve, brothers inherit.
112. Only fools pay retail.
113. There's nothing wrong with charity ... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
114. Opportunity waits for no one.
115. Sell the sizzle, not the steak.
116. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
117. Rules are always subject to interpretation.
118. Never spend your own money when you can spend someone else's.
119. If you can sell it, don't hesitate to steal it.
120. Know your enemies...but do business with them always.
121. Never offer a confession when a bribe will do.
122. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
123. Never bet on a race you haven't fixed.
124. Borrow on a handshake; lend in writing.
125. Never cheat a Klingon ... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
126. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.
127. The justification for profit is profit.
128. New customers are like razortoothed grubworms. They can be succulent, but sometimes they can bite back.
129. Sometimes more damaging than an answer is a question.
130. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success... don't hesitate to step on them.
131. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
132. Instinct without opportunity is useless.
133. Never gamble with an empath.
134. Always know what you're buying.
135. Possession is eleven-tenths of the law.
136. Beware of any man who thinks with his lobes.
137. Knowledge is power.
138. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
139. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
140. You can't buy fate.
141. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
142. More is good ... all is better.
143. A wife is a luxury ... a smart accountant is a necessity.
144. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
145. Never allow doubt to tarnish your love of latinum.
146. When in doubt, lie.
147. Blood is thicker than water, but harder to sell.
148. Business is like war; it's important to recognize the winner.
149. Rules are always subject to change.
150. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.
151. No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Folks,don't get scared looking at these pics.These are the front covers of cigarette pockets that are currently sold in Australia.Few months back,Australian health ministry came up with this new regulation on tobacco industry that all the cigarette pocket covers should have these pics.
These pictures depicts mouth and forefoot of the person affected by cigarette smoking.It'll be a good move if Indian govt adapts this regulation on Indian tobacco industry.P.M.K guys can ask Dr.Anbumani Ramdoss(Health Minister) to act in this regard instead of going behind Actress Kushboo.
Latest survey on Indian tobacco user says 50% of the males in Tamilnadu and Pondichery are smokers .This figure is increasing 2% per year .5 lakh people are dying each year coz of tobacco related decease all over the world.In 2030, this figure is gonna be like 30 lakhs.If we call Tsumani as catastrophic incident(coz of 2 lakhs deaths) of this century ,How are we gonna call these incidents?
Let's look at this issue from a different angle.people are smoking and this number is increasing day by day. India with over a billion population is an excellent market for tobocco industry.What does it means to you and me apart from the fact that we also get affected by passive smoking?.
Can we make money out of it?
YES.By buying stocks in ITC(Indian tobocco Company) we can make money in the long term.Some finaicial facts about ITC is listed below,
ITC sells seven of every 10 cigarettes in India.It had a 36 percent gain in profit before a one-time expense, as demand for its tobacco and agriculture products increased.
ITC, which is 32 percent owned by British American Tobacco, sells cigarettes through more than two million outlets. The company is set to take advantage of restrictions placed on overseas tobacco companies, including limits on local manufacturing, at a time when higher economic growth is spurring Indian smokers to shift to costlier brands.
ITC has added new businesses such as foods, matches, incense sticks, apparel, deodorants, greeting cards and rural retail chains in the past six years, reducing dependence on tobacco. ITC's revenue from its 60 hotels rose 45 percent to 2.63 billion rupees. Profit before tax and one-time gains or costs gained 72 percent to 978 million rupees.
Dipak Acharya, a fund manager from BOB Asset Management in Mumbai says, "ITC will be able to maintain its growth momentum,There is no threat of competition in cigarettes. In hotels there is undersupply of rooms, and in paper, demand is outstripping supply."
The company's cigarette sales increased 15 percent, hotel revenue gained 45 percent, paper sales rose 15.6 percent and agriculture business surged 56 percent in the quarter.
Here you can analyse ITC's performance for the past 10 years.
What happens if we don't make money?
If we don't make money then we lose money in the form of our tax.WHO says,India could loose US$236 billions of dollars from it's national income over the next ten years as a result of heart disease, stroke, cancer and diabetes.So,we'll better start making money in order to pay back later. :)
Last but not the least,
புகை பிடிக்காதே நண்பா,
(I'm not the author of this kavithai,I read it long back in my college magazine)
Note:I thought twice before writing this post coz I didn't want this post turning out as some kind of advice against smoking.Apart from that kavithai,this post doesn't sounds like giving advice, does it?Well,you guys can tell me.